Time to be candid.

*warning - if you're here just to see pics feel free to skip this bit, my feelings won't be hurt. Just thought I'd share a bit more of my story. You can read the first of my journey here.

This begins the baby journey...

My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. I really can't believe it. I still feel the excitement of being newlywed at the same time the comfort of 6 years of marriage. It's a good combination. In those years we were not "not" trying for a baby, and it was in the fall of last year that I decided to find out what was "wrong." Mostly to ease my mind that medically something didn't need attention. After a visit with the doctor it was determined that I had PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). From here we saw a fertility specialist in Greenville. I must say this was a HUGE step for me. I'm a FIRM believer in God's plan and sure didn't want to mess with it. However, there was something happening in my heart and life, I knew there was a change coming, call it Mommy instinct or whatever, but really I could feel it just over the horizon.

In December I had a procedure to check my tubes and January marked our first month on Clomid. Again a huge step for me, I NEVER take medicine, absolutely hate it and can never remember to take it! Much to our surprise we were blessed extremely quickly and found out we were expecting on Valentines Day. What a beautiful day for such a miracle. You can say I'm crazy, but I knew I would be able to give that gift to my hubby on the 14th. He almost topped it with roses given to me in the same vase his dad gave his mother when he was born...actually I think that was my mother-in-law's doings...but it was super sweet for sure! We will always remember that day and sharing the news with our parents.

A few weeks later, on St. Patricks Day, we saw our baby and heard the heartbeat for the first time. We had been hoping for a baby for so long, that everything for sure seemed like a dream until that moment.

Then the sickness hit. I've been flat on my back up until really last week. One of my friends said, "you know, God just knows when we need to slow down, and how to slow us down." I'm such a go-getter and always so extremely busy that I can look back now and know that that was the only way I would have ever stopped. It's been crazy. We've just moved, everything in boxes, cleaning, painting, so much to be done! Thank God my MIL lives close by she's helped tons and for sure got sick of painting.

This brings me to now. I found a doctor that I was comfortable with, but they don't take medicaid which I'm applying for since my husband's job has been slack. No shame here, I've been a taxpayer...and still a taxpayer! Fingers crossed we get some sort of help. We have a major medical insurance, but not maternity...anyway, who's going to pay outrageous money for coverage they're not sure they'll even ever be able to use? Not me! Oh the joys of self-employment...and people think I just have fun all the time.

So now, I'm looking at Blessed Births, a home birthing center in Greenville. LOVE what I've heard about these gals so far. Meeting with them next week and I'm so excited. I've always said I would much rather have a home/water birth than a hospital birth. Thank God for hospitals but something a bit more private and intimate is more my cup of tea, much to my family's dismay, I'm sure. I'm 15 weeks now and definitely in maternity clothes. My husband took a pic of me at the house last night and it really hit home how big I already am. We are taking a pic in the same spot every month or so, until I have a newborn in my arms. Oh this baby journey...and it's only just begun!

I do want to say I'm telling my story because since we've had a little trouble getting pregnant so many people have talked to me about their struggles too. There is real strength and comfort in sharing our stories. Thanks everyone for the times you've shared with me privately...it's a little different when you're blogging it...kinda scary.