Sorry the blog has been so "wordy." I've been taking photographs, I just have lots to say lately. This post was running through my head all night, I could barely get to sleep! So, if you read the previous post you know things have been quite eventful, otherwise described as chaotic, since the first of the year. Short recap: we moved, my hubby's job got REALLY slack, we found out we were pregnant, and I've been sick as a dog! So yep, in the middle of this chaos I'm supposed to feel up to finding a doctor to deliver our baby. My regular OB doesn't deliver but referred me to some nice gals in Powdersville. Like a herd of cattle I did what I was told and set up my appointment with my new doctor. Typical it was. Nice luscious lobby, LOTS of nurses and administration, long waits in the lobby, and a 15 minute meeting (out of a 2 hour visit) with the actual doctor who was very helpful and assured me that out of 3 doctors, one of them would deliver. Oh, and the bill. We won't even go there. I've been so stressed since leaving that office! However, I finally realized I had not even researched the option of a midwife, something I've ALWAYS said I would prefer.
Like any good mommy I started researching and talking to ladies that had been to the birthing center before, and finally felt up to making an appointment for a tour. This brings me to yesterday. The whole way there I was praying that God would really just show me what was best and what He wanted, that I would have peace when I knew things were right. The entire trip the song "Show me your ways," a really old worship song, kept running through my head. Strange because I haven't heard it in forever, but really it became my prayer during the drive.
The birthing center... walking in, it felt like I was walking into my own place of business. You know that "locally owned" feeling. Everything's not perfect, but that makes it so completely perfect. We walked through the house discussing the birthing rooms, water births, and some of my concerns. Already I felt a bit relieved. Next I met with both midwives who spent at least an hour with me together, almost two, discussing the specifics and getting all of my questions answered. I've never given birth before, but I've photographed it quite a few times. So you can imagine I had lots of questions and concerns. I think they were a bit surprised with how much I actually knew about birth. I really think of myself as a non-observant person but apparently in high stress situations, I'm observant.
This brings me to the breakdown. Yep, this pregnant woman started crying right there with the midwives. I'm sure they've seen this a time or two before. I was crying because I finally felt happy about the pregnancy. I finally felt like I could do it, financially and emotionally. There was a sense of comfort and a huge sigh of relief. I couldn't stop thinking this is so perfect for us! I cannot imagine wishing and hoping for the "birth" day if I knew I was going to a hospital...
I'm excited about the purity and the basics of the birthing center. The privacy and the personal relationship. This is what I thrive on with my business, why would I not want this during one of the most important times in our lives. Oh by the way, she did a simple exam to check the baby's heart beat. Baby Addis was quite the mover and wouldn't stop kicking, but we finally heard that strong beat we had heard 6 weeks ago. I'm thankful and so happy. I actually even feel better today than I've felt all week. *sigh* (deep cleansing breath)
One more thing, I can't believe I forgot to take a picture!