So, last friday...WHAT in the world! Can't believe all that you guys were up to without me even knowing, more on that but first... I'll be honest. Friday was just one of those "yuck" days. I'm imagining they'll be more, unfortunately. I think it had to do with watching Sadie Mae struggle to breathe the night before. They were trying to wean her off the ventilator so her settings were really low. The nurse explained the monitor, which was showing moments of no breaths, just the machine doing the work. Ugh! So extremely hard to watch a monitor knowing that your child is breathing only because of a machine.
So, back to Friday. I had planned to do a little work that morning. I got everything finished on time and wanted to go straight to see her. Feeling a bit guilty by lunch because I had not gotten there yet, and even more guilty by the afternoon that I still had not made it, by the time I did get there I was in an even worse mood AND she was still struggling. Yuck, yuck, yuck! After a quick look at her I went back to pump so I could be alone for a minute to cry. When I returned to the bedside I had a good moment with her. I read somewhere that singing is great for babies like her, so I put my hand on her head and sang Jesus Loves Me a couple times. This was my loving on her, since I couldn't hold and kiss on her. It's so hard to leave when I know she's really struggling. I could have spent the night...
SO this brings me to Friday night and the blessings from all of you guys. I am extremely BLOWN away by your generosity. A surprise shower, are you kidding? You guys are too much. Words are really, really inadequate to explain our gratitude, especially after such a tough day, it really came at a great time. To know that you guys are all standing with us in prayer and supporting us with your way too generous gifts, it means the world. It's times like these that you understand life. The goodness of people. The provisions of God. My prayer for ALL of you is that you would be blessed back a gazillion (hope that's a word)! We love you all very much, not because you gave but because you have become a very special part of our lives.
Our plans for your monetary gift is to finish her room. We still need furniture, I've decided to paint some stripes and she needs decor, we had absolutely nothing but a crib! I had just bought bedding last week that I really liked from Target. It was very affordable and oh so cute. The fabric that I had posted about earlier was out of stock...got this news right after I delivered, great timing eh?
I promise to post a photograph of her room finished. Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping to make Sadie's room complete...eventually! By the way, love the fact that they took video of you guys and your messages. What a keepsake Sadie will have later. Following photographs by jujugrafiks.com
More on the facebook group page. Link in previous post.
A few stats on Sadie Mae. She is now about 1lb 10oz, eating well, and pooping extremely well...all over the nurse to be exact. :) She's over 3 weeks old and we're thanking God everyday that she's still with us! This is the first thing we bought her, Winkie the Lamb. It watches over her bed when we're not there. Scott thought it hilarious that I was conducting a little photo session with her lamb...I was desperate!
Also, we held her for the first time last week! Such a great moment. Can't wait for the next time. These are pics from my phone, yes, the photographer did not have her camera, BUT I have a valid excuse. I had no clue we were going to be able to hold her. It was sort of on a whim just to see how she would do out of her bed. By the way, she did great and I think she enjoyed it as much as we did. You'll see her first kiss below too!
Over the weekend they started the steroids and yesterday she was doing well enough to come off of the ventilator. Now she is on the CPAP, which is just an oxygen supply through the nose. As of now, she's breathing well enough on her own and her blood gases are stable. I know this is greek to most of you, but I'm trying to put it in the simplest terms possible. I swear I could be a nurse after this experience. So here's a pic with her new head gear. She still has lots of glue on her face, sorry it's not the greatest pic but I wanted everyone to see what she has advanced too. It doesn't look better, but it's much better for her. Keep praying that she gets strong with her breathing!
Again, I'm just blown away with the generosity of so many. All that we've been given, it really feels like too much. We're just living life and coping how we know best. There's many more families just like us in the NICU. Why we have been so blessed is beyond me? ...God loves us is all I can figure.
We visited a church in Greenville on Sunday. LOVED the message. Really was a great reminder to keep our priorities straight. Here's the gist: If HOME is where your HEART is, and where your HEART is there your TREASURE lies...then the TREASURE of your HEART is your HOME. I treasure Sadie, yes for sure, but more than that I treasure God who gave her to me. My home is not here, hers is not either. This is just a journey to our true home, heaven.