2 families lost a baby each this past week. A photograph offered as some sort of condolence, was my deepest effort. Suddenly, rocking Sadie for a moment before bed doesn't seem to be such a distraction from all things to be done.
Things to be done. Mercy.
prints to order.
sessions to post.
messages to return.
accounting to catch up on.
....and that's just work.
Home involves being Mommy and Wife.
The list grows longer and more urgent by the moment. My head spins. I'm sick, literally. My body already doing what I've dubbed "the body crash," after pulling my normal 60 hour holiday work weeks.
Then, I stumble on a beautiful blog.
"Hard, with all the lists and to-dos, to still at all in the spin of the season.
This, the season meant for waiting wonder: God gestates.
For nine long months, The Maker of everything hovered over the waters of the womb, divided His own cells and pulled on skin. God waited to make His entrance. Mary gently rubs her swelling abdomen. She waits. She prays. She stretches.
God stirs within. He moves her.
Is that how to truly enter into Christmas?
Christmas can only come like Christ came: in the resting wait of gestation.
Like a mother longing for the holding of the Child." -A Holy Experience
My focus shifts.
My dream last night. That I was 25 weeks pregnant, and didn't know it. I was so ecstatic in my dream that I had made it passed "Sadie's arrival week."
I believe in God and in things happening for a purpose. I think that dream was purposed for this moment. That I might be still for a second and wait, know, this is the time. Time to celebrate, in anticipation, the birth of the Savior of the World. The Holy One, Creator of all things.
Like the Mother that holds her child for just a brief moment, I want to enjoy every second of this season with that alert and eager thankfulness.
Time to introduce Sadie Mae to the Advent calendar and together as a family discuss and keep fresh in our hearts, the real reason for the season.