Day 3, July the 4th. 10 a.m. I wake.
The bed is wet. We call the nurse.
In an hour they are wheeling me to the delivery room.
There's infection in my amniotic fluid.
It's all pretty blurry.
From what I recall, she's breech. As if it technically mattered.
A classical c-section or risk a vaginal delivery where the pressure on the baby might be too great.
Of course, c-section. Without hesitation.
I seriously had no clue when they brought her over, with that contraption over her mouth, that they were actually breathing for her.
I got a quick look at her small face, her swaddled hidden body, and she was gone.
I seriously had no clue. No clue. No clue.
They wheeled me into the NICU to see her completely. I'm smiling in anticipation and uncertainty. I can't imagine what my family, who had already seen her, were thinking standing at the door, watching my entrance.
Then, I see her....
Her translucent skin.
Her barely formed features.
A ventilator down her throat.
My heart sinks.
Thank God He prepared me, with a vision. Otherwise it would have been the perfect spot to loose hope.
I did loose my emotions.
The ugly cry. The OMG cry.
My hubby beautifully photographing. Thank you hunny.
I'll not forget that moment.
So, rightly so. Miss Independence, came on Independence Day.
I can't begin to tell of all the ups and downs, those next 89 days.
I seriously should write a book. I've been saying it for years. This might surely be the time.
For 3 months we stayed in a camper.
The pull to be near our baby too great, to go home.
I'll never forget laying in that camper the first night "home." Balling my eyes out. The hubby speechless, his arms around me tight.
Passion has a beautiful song that describes how I feel about what God did for us during that time.... "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. In death, in life, I'm confident and covered by your great love. ....there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love."
Through it all, His love kept us. That's the only way to explain it.
Kept us as husband and wife, and as father and mother. He is still keeping us with his love as we navigate this thing called parenthood.
One of our proudest moments in the NICU...my hubby's ring wouldn't fit over her hand any longer...finally we were making some headway.
It may have been a while before we were able to hold her...but, when we could, we cherished the moment.
A bit more about our journey and this thing called "Rescued by Love" tomorrow...